Hot&cold, Yes&no, Black&white. How To Figure Out My Bf?
My bf (48) and I (26) have been dating (as in together) for 1 month but we haven’t actually been “on a date” (an outing). He’s a doctor and works a lot, both at the hospital (including on call nighttimes) and private consultations. Every time I suggest we do sthg or go somewhere, he always has an excuse (on call, work late, tired, sick, must see his daughter, …). But he does have time to come on over for like 1h about twice a week- to have sex. On Sunday we were finally gonna go out in the evening and at 7 he sent me an sms reading he wasn’t feeling good and wanted to spend the night with his daughter. Then he turned off his cell phone. Monday afternoon he texted me again apologizing for it, he said he’d have family problems (I’m assuming with his wife) and he was really, really pissed and didn’t want me to see him like that. Eventually I accepted to come meet with him for a bit at the hospital and we talked in his office. I told him how I felt- like I am last on his list, that he’s just using me for sex, etc. He said I shouldn’t, he admitted not being there enough for me but he said that he does respect me and that he has to make a lot efforts to see me (I don’t know what he meant by efforts though, he didn’t explain and I didn’t ask). He also apologized for making me upset (I didn’t cry in front of him but I was clearly shaken with red&teary eyes and a broken voice). He suggested he come by [my house] tonight, as well as me taking a day or two or a week if I wanted to think about everything. I believed him because when he said that, there was sadness in his eyes. Later on that evening (about 4 h later) he texted me saying he couldn’t stop thinking about me and our conversation and that he does want to ever make me sad. I replied and we texted back and forth several times, until I told him it’d be ok for him to come see me today. And then this afternoon, BANG! He text me saying he’s feeling a sick-like as well as emotionally tired and is gonna go staright home from work. I replied that unfortunately I wasn’t surprised he was cancelling and that if he had a message to tell me he should just (like if he changed his mind and wants to break up, he should tell me rather than leave me hanging like this), and to that he replied that I shouldn’t put words in his mouth and that if he had sthg to say he would say it. I didn’t text back. Because I don’t know what to do. This is a man who can be so kind and generous (for instance, for Christmas he told me he’d get me a new phone, even a Blakberry, regardless of the price, there was no limit) who tells me such sweet things (recently he literally said that I make his heart beat) but then he’s so unavailable and I just don’t know. Yesterday he tells me he’s sorry, doesn’t wanna hurt me, blah blah blah and the 1st thing he does today is cancel on me (even though it wasn’t gonna be a date). Do you think he’s really trying or not to send me a message, is there sthg going on that I don’t know, maybe did he meet someone else or did he bore of me or maybe he actually have that many responsibilities on his shoulders???
P.S: I am not his mistress, I’m his gf. His wife and him are over, they just stay together like putting on a show for their daughter, but (according to what he told me before we started dating) she’s a nag and annoying and obsessive and controlling etc etc. And last night I also asked him at one point if she still loves him or not. He answered he didn’t know.
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