Hi Friends,
I am an Indian. I am married 11 years back. It was a love marriage. Now, i have two wonderful kids – daughter(7 yrs) and a Son (2yrs). My wife had a troubled life in the childhood. Her father left her mother and inturn, her mother got married to another person who has taken care of my daughter till she graduated and settled in a good job. There were incidents of sexual abusives by her step-father in her later stages of life after my wife attained pubetry.
After marriage, we lived happily for 10 yrs. Whole of the society used to think of us as the ideal/best couple they have ever seen.
Later, my wife became suspicious on me thinking that i am having affairs with my lady collegues at office which is not right. She went into deep depression 18 months back where she is lost her speach (never wanted to talk to any, rahter), sleepless ness, she never knew whats happening, she never cooked, never took care of the kids etc. I have taken her to one of the famous psychologist in our locality. She was medicated and she started becoming normal.
She was on medication for a month and she refused to take medicines later where-in she was supposed to be on medication for 6 months. I was happy as she bounced back to her normal life with the help of my mother and her mother at that point of time, not realizing that there is lot of trouble in store for me for the future.
Now the problem is, she has become very abusive and gets into bad temper every now and then. She never used to use filthy language before but she can use it very comfortably and with an ease without understanding the circumstances. She keeps talking about non related things which had happened in her life(personal and professional) to the present situation whenever she gets into bad temper. She doesnt realise what she is doing at that point of time and never agrees that she is effecting her own health, it effects the family and the affects of it on our family in the society and the kids.
In between, she bacame bit hyper (doc called it as hypomania – but doc never met my wife as my wife was very very reluctant to see a doctor) and cut off her relation with her mother and sent my mother to my village after querelling with them. She even tried her best to get into infedility with my own friends and hers during that particular time. She became over consious about her beauty etc.She used to send mails, send SMS, call endlessly to all men known to her during those days (in the months of May and June). She was terminated from her job in April as her mind was not steady.
Now, a happy thing about it is, she is not spending sleepless nights in sending mails, SMS and catches a good sleep but She looses temper by the drop of a hat. She can get into fight with anyone. She feels she is right and she feels all are trying to say she is insane. She gets into fights with me and other inmates in our apartments. I am ashmed to meet up with people here and i am maintaining a low profile coz of my wife.I am leading my life for the secured future of my kids and their happiness. Whenever i discuss about her ill temperment with her, she pulls the roof down. Whenever she querrels with me, she demands for a divorce which i dont want as i dont want my kids to go thru what my wife had gone thru during her childhood. I dont want my kids to be living with single parents. On positive side, she is cookign and taking care of kids now a days.
Note that, she is very good at times and very abusive too.
When you visit my home, she might invite you with a big smile and show her hospitality to the core…..or she might slam the door on your face saying, u r not invited.
I dont want her to get into depression again and i love her so much. I need her for myself and for my kids. Please suggest me how best can i make her understand what she is into……..what steps should i take to make her not to loose her temper. I will be glad to follow every step you suggest to see my family happy again as it was in its starting point.
rgds,
isha
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